Where have you gone Crystal soda?

One of my favorite memories of being a kid is when my dad used to make his big Italian hoagies for lunch on Saturdays. No hoagie was complete until there was a glass of Crystal Cream Soda next to it.

As I was making my menu for our annual Memorial Day Meat Party, I added cans of Crystal soda to my list. This being Scranton and all, I figured I would go to my local Gerrity's and pick up some cans, usually five for $1.00. Imagine my surprise when I learned Gerrity's no longer carries Crystal soda.

It was at one of the local beer distributors that I learned that Crystal was no longer being sold. A quick Google search came up with no website for Crystal soda, but the address of the headquarters, still located in Scranton.

So the question is - Where have you gone Crystal soda? No more parties with 50/50, Birchola, Draft Root Beer, Cherokee Red, or most importantly - RED CREAM SODA!!!!!!

You will be missed.

Tips for Dressing for Summer Weather

Here are a few tips for dressing this summer. They're not fashionable, but rather for the sake of your modesty and my not having to gag when I see you.

Shorts -

• should not be too short - meaning - I don't want to see your underwear ladies, the bottoms of your underwear. I also don't want to see the tops of your thongs.
• are like pants, only shorter - meaning, they should be worn around the hips or waist so guys, I don't want to see your underwear either.
• If you're going to be brave and wear white shorts - you must wear white or nude underwear. This also goes for light colored shorts.

Tops -

• a bikini top is not a bra, even if Cosmo says so.
• guys, if you plan on going into any public establishment, you need to wear a shirt. A wife-beater with the neck pulled down to your navel does not count.
• ladies, you need to wear a bra under white tee-shirts. That is your only option. You cannot not wear one, PLEASE. And remember, a bikini top is not a bra.
• if the strapless tank top doesn't stay up on its own - don't wear it. Remember what the lady who sold you your prom/wedding/formal dress told you - if you can't stay in it while you dance, you shouldn't buy it.
• guys - a vest is not a shirt, no matter how ripped you are or how many tatts you have.
• a bikini top is not a bra.

Other -

• Axe/perfume/cologne is no substitute for deodorant and a shower.
• orange is a great color - for the fruit. If you're going to pay that much to look that orange, you might have better luck going to Lowe's and using the color match paint center to find your perfect hue and buying a can of Dutch Boy. And if you're orange - don't use your winter cover-up.
• water bottles are the perfect accessory for walking around the park - not beer bottles.

And finally, I know it's warm outside and we all like to drive with our windows down. Having said that, you can smile and wink at me all you like while we're stopped at a light, but I don't thinkg it's necessary to gun your engine until all the black smoke comes out and then cut in front of me with your metal balls dangling in the wind from your tailgate. It just proves to me that whatever reason your last girlfriend had for dumping you was justified. Nine fold.

Stay classy.

And really, a bikini top? C'mon. Target has nice bras for sale as low as $7.99. You can get five for the price of one at Victoria's Secret or for the price of two at Boscov's.

If It's May, It Must Be Meat

Brian and I celebrated the first Thursday of May by visiting Schiff's annual meat sale. We stocked the freezer and are ready to grill out all summer long.

Yes, that's 10 lbs of ground beef I'm holding.

Cooking with Mr. Peanut

Mr. Peanut loves to help in the kitchen. His favorite food to make is pasta primavera. He loves the smell of red peppers and asparagus. He also give much needed advice as to how to prepare dinner.

Brian and I were inducted into Marywood's chapter of AEL, for excellence in our graduate work.

Now, I have at least two graded portfolios (in 3 in. binders) and a Wikispace for all of the classes I've been in. Brian just has to write a paper or something. Who's doing more excellent work?

Fun at Wendy's

Things I witnessed at Wendy's on April 29th:

• A woman coughing all over the napkins (swine flu?)
• A man in a pin-stripped suit asking the lady behind the counter for more napkins and she refuses - they're for drive through customers only
• Two kids having a contest - who can make the biggest hickey on their own arm?
• Hickey contest turns into who can make their skin more red by scratching quickly in a thirty second time period
• A nine-year-old eating ten chicken nuggets, two orders of fries, a potato, and Coke
• Same kid belching loudly and being congratulated by his dad
• Sister of kid (who I am guesstimating is around fourteen) is talking very loudly about her best friend's birth control method of choice and why it was ineffective
• Lady now coughing all over the tables

Stay classy, Pennsylvania.

It's hard to have a good picture of yourself on a blog when you're the one taking the pictures all the time. However, this is a good self portrait with my cell phone camera.

Beginnings

And today I begin my life as a blogger. Enjoy my random thoughts on ridiculousness and pictures (too many of them of the cat). Have a laugh and realize that this is all too true.